Skating on Thin Ice

So when it comes to writing, I'm trying this new thing called "diligence." Apparently it is a real word, with a real meaning and a real spot in the dictionary. (And by dictionary, I mean dictionary.com) Regardless, I decided that my afternoon nap wasn't really necessary, especially since I already utilize my morning nap and early evening nap pretty damn well. So now the plan is to take all this new time I have and put it to good use, doing something like writing or working out or neither of those things. So let's give it a shot.

Sometimes it seems like the NHL only exists for the punchlines of terribly cliched jokes. "So.... the NHL... what's up with that?" seems like something you would hear at your local college's open mic. While these comedians probably shouldn't quit their day job- going to class seems like a job on mondays- they are actually pretty spot on. What is up with the NHL? Hockey is like that one friend who keeps trying to move on to bigger and better things, but will end up drunk texting his ex girlfriend on Friday night. It's a train wreck. Every time the NHL establishes even the least bit of legitimacy, they almost immediately flush it down the can. It's almost like hockey enjoys being the thing people watch when there isn't any football, basketball, or "Friends" reruns on.

Quite frankly, this deeply routed issue comes from the top. I know it's easy to bash Gary Bettman, but god, Gary Bettman sucks. I don't really know how a guy who worked in the NBA found the fast track to being a league commissioner, but he clearly has the cheat codes. I can think of an incredibly frustrated 12 year old playing Tony Hawk that would have been very interested in talking to Gary Bettman. That kid totally wasn't me, if that's what you were thinking.

Just kidding, it was me. Tony Hawk aside, (that's for another blog post, or 6)  the NHL issues stem from Bettman. Yes, he's raised revenue from 400 million per year to close to 3 billion. (I honestly think that Time magazine's next "person of the year" should be the first paragraph of any and every wikipedia page. Has anything been ever been as helpful?) Yes, when the NHL is actually playing, hockey has seen a huge rise in interest. There's no doubting that. But it's hard to continually raise interest when there is a lockout every 10 years. Just in my lifetime, the NHL has had 3 lockouts. 3!! I thought the NBA had the prima donnas. Hockey organizations have been widely respected for doing business the right way, similar to how hockey players are respected for playing the right way. But is that really the case?

Now as any one who knows me will tell you, I'm not the best with money. I think my lasting legacy will be that time I ended up spending 60 bucks at McDonalds my freshman year because no one else had cash. (making friends rocks!) I used to get mad when my brother would get two 10's and I would get one 20, because somehow, he got more money. I just don't get it. But when it comes to a revenue split, I think I can probably handle it. I don't really understand why 50-50 isn't ALWAYS the default. People lose sight in the fact that all these sports franchises are a business first. For every one athlete, there are 10 people you'll never see that get paid to make sure that athlete does get seen. Both are equally important, so both should get equal pay.

With the hockey season in serious doubt, the NHL has only a couple of days to figure it out. There are rumblings that if the season is lost, the NHL would crumble. Alex Ovechkin, the toothless face of the NHL, has come out and said he doesn't even know if he wants to return, due to the financial instability of the NHL. When the face of the league expresses doubts, you know there's trouble. Hopefully the NHL figures it out, because I can only watch Ross and Rachel for so long.

A little soul for your monday

NFL Preview

As of Sunday, August 19, there are 3 divisions in Major League Baseball that are in the midst of exciting pennant races. The world spent the first two weeks of August glued to their televisions, watching another exciting summer Olympics. (Authors note: It should be noted that USA was the best country at the Olympics, and really just in general.) But why sit here and discuss that when IT”S FOOTBALL SEASON BABY!!! The time has come to once again spend our Sundays watching physically superior men dish out punishing hits on one another while we dish out punishing hits on a plate of hot wings. Since early February, my Sundays have consisted of foolish activities such as exercising (just kidding) and studying and probably other things that are just entirely too mundane to remember. No longer, though. As the new NFL season approaches, here are some storylines to keep an eye on, if only to avoid hearing about Tim Tebow.

1.     The Giants try to repeat as Super Bowl champs. The last team to repeat championship winning seasons were the ’03-’04 New England Patriots, so the Giants have quite a bit of work to do. They return most of their team’s core, which bodes well for Big Blue. Their defense is pretty darn good, and Eli Manning is coming off an offseason in which he did those Direct TV ads where he dressed up as a fairy, so he’s probably ready for some football. The only problem that the G-Men could face is that they play in the NFC, and are division rivals with the Washington Redskins. And the Redskins are winning the Super Bowl this year. This is the year, guys.

2.     Peyton Manning returns. He’s back! Apparently doing TV adds for literally every company on earth (those Manning brothers are just so damn marketable!) wasn’t enough for Peyton, as he signed a mega-contract to play for the Denver Broncos. This should make the Broncos a formidable opponent, especially in a weaker AFC West division. The only reason I’m not going to jump on the bandwagon and crown them NFL champs is because they would have to play the Redskins in the Super Bowl, and the Redskins are going all the way this year.

3.     Andrew Luck vs. RGIII. The top 2 picks of this year’s NFL draft start off their promising careers. Andrew Luck starts a new chapter in Indianapolis, and through 2 preseason games looks like the real deal. Most in Indy are happy, while some are already clamoring for him to lose his job, purely because of his absolutely horrendous neck beard. (Google it, seriously.) RGIII eats at subway, so you know he’s good. Plus you already know my thoughts on the Redskins.

4.     The Saints come off a tumultuous offseason. Can we please take a moment to recognize a team that gets caught paying players to injure opposing players is named the Saints. These jokes basically write themselves. Coach Sean Peyton is out for the year, as well a few key defensive players. Look for this to be a developmental year for the Saints, as they’ll probably spend the season molding new players that would be willing to take money to hurt players.

5.     Possible replacement referees, due to a contract dispute between the NFL and the NFL Referee Association. (apparently it exists) This is actually good news for the average fan. Now, at any point during the game, when the ref makes a call you don’t agree with, you might actually be right! Your dreams of pretending to know as much about the rules of football as a paid, taught NFL referee are inching closer to reality!

These are just some of the fascinating subplots to what should be another great NFL season. And if your team isn’t doing so hot, you can always just jump on the Giants’ bandwagon. Ask Jets fans, they do it all the time.

 Tunes:

Being a white college-aged male, I feel a certain obligation to listen to reggae. This also happens to be my cooking-dinner song.

I cannot even fathom how fun this would be.

The Grinch that Stole Strasmas

After a hectic 48 hours of traveling/walking around Boston/watching the Red Sox suck, I finally found some down time while up in Maine to write a bit. Sitting dockside and looking out over a lake while waiting for lobster to cook isn't the worst way to get over the fact that Josh Beckett gave up like, 18 home runs today. Safe the say the sox are about as cooked as the lobster I'm about to devour, but I've known that since May. With that in mind, I can now give 100% of my attention to my hometown team/fiery love affair that is the Washington Nationals.

As my good friend blogger Mike Barber so poetically phrases it, "Nats are hot baby!"  He speaks the truth, the Nats are indeed hot. They're young, talented, gritty, etc, you know the deal. The Nats have risen to such national prominence this season, even Teddy's race woes are a nation-wide concern at this point.

However a deadline lures in the not-to-distant future for the Nats, one that could potentially cool down DC's first legitimate chance at happiness since the JaVale McGee/Swaggy P tandem was broken up. (I was not in favor of it. They provided me countless highlights.) Steven Strasburg is running out of innings. GM Mike Rizzo has always been adamant about shutting Strasburg down at the 160 innings mark. While the Nats have a superb rotation, there is no question that Strasburg is the ace, as well the man on the bump in what could potentially be DC's first playoff game since a long time ago. The shutdown of Strasburg has been often debated, with legitimate arguments on both sides. There are the people who say it is in the best interest of both Strasburg and the Nat's future, while there are others who disagree with shutting down the team's ace when a World Series is a definite possibility.

I would have to agree with the latter, I think shutting him down would ruin the Nats, not only this year, but in the future as well. There is no guarantee in sports, and assuming the Nats are going to be in contention for World Series titles going forward is a foolish assumption. Shit happens. Players leave, players get hurt. The Nats can seriously contend this year, so why shouldn't they? Any Nats fan that tells me they are just as confident without Strasburg is crazy. Yes Gonzalez is good, and Jordan Zimmerman has turned into a nice 3rd option, but there is no way in hell the Nats can roar into the playoffs, confident as ever, when their most important and talented player is sitting on the bench in sweats. More importantly, the next 4 years of Strasburg's salary are decided by arbitration, a process that has a reputation of ruining the player-team relationship. If the Nats want to resign Strasburg, they're going to want to have the strongest relationship possible with him, obviously. Going into arbitration after being shut down against Strasburg's will has all the makings of a very messy break-up.

Now lets get hypothetical here for a moment or two. Say the Nats DO win the World Series with Strasburg riding the pine. 1. NATS ARE HOT!!! 2. This would be bad news bears. Doesn't winning without Strasburg show the Nats that he's not really needed? He's needed in the way that I need pizza. It's something I want around for the rest of my life, but if I can't have it, cheeseburgers will do just fine. How in the world could Strasburg resign if the team can win without him? Is that not the ultimate slap in the face?

The Nats have a huge decision to make here. In a season that has ultimately defined the direction this team is headed for the next 5-10 years, they need to make a statement and keep Strasburg in the rotation. The Nats need to come out and show Strasburg and the Washington fanbase that they are committed to winning immediately, in a year where winning is very possible. Whether the Nats like it or not, the future is now in DC. Teams never stay the same, and the Nats are no exception. The team has a bevy of young stars, and the likelihood that they all take a pay cut to stay in DC is an unlikely one. Locking up the important ones like Strasburg (and eventually Harper, but that will be MUCH tougher) is crucial to keeping the excitement in the nation's capital.

Keep Strasburg in the rotation, and the Nats stay hot. Take him out, the Nats are not. (Rhyming!)



Tune:

RIP Jerry Garcia

And then there is this:

Baseball's Mid-Season Awards

We're officially at the halfway point in the Major League Baseball season, which only means that games start to matter now! In probably the feel good story of the year, the Yankees have the best record in baseball halfway through. How that team gets all the good players is beyond me. They must have some baseball STUDS running that team. Rounding out the top 5 teams are the Rangers, Nationals, Angels, and Pirates. Yeah, the Pirates. They're from Pittsburgh. (How awesome would it be if the MLB expanded and put a team in the Caribbean? They would have to move the Pirates, wouldn't they?) Rounding out the bottom 5 are the Rockies, Cubs, Astros, (surprise!) Padres, and, just because I'm supremely bitter, I'll throw the Red Sox in there. But I'll get to the Red Sox later. Here are my awards for the 1st half of the season.

"The team as hot as its city" award:


Is this really a mystery? The Nat's are hot baby!!! While the nation's capital suffers through record heat waves, their baseball team seems to respond accordingly. They hold the best record in the N.L., and don't look like they're going to give it up anytime soon. With their top 3 arms all having sub-3 ERA's and a more than solid bullpen, this team has 2010 San Francisco Giants written all over it.  Their offense has been spotty at times, but hopefully the return of OF Jayson Werth SHOULD help with that. (That's a big should, though.) Plus, Bryce Harper. (I couldn't think of a clever way to bring Harper into the discussion, so that seemed like as good a way as any.) The 19 year old phenom has caught the attention of the entire nation, hitting mammoth homeruns. My favorite part of that video is just how accurately the Toronto fans feed the "Canadians are entirely too nice" stereotype. A 19 year old kid came into their park and plastered one off the blackberry sign, and they all clap. Oh Canada. Are the Nats finally a legit threat to win the NL? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzbhjzsyvGk


"The biggest disappointment so far, mainly because he's on my fantasy team" award:


 Tim Lincecum. You're killing me Timmy. I take you with my 2nd overall pick and this is how you repay me? By going  3-10 with an ERA hovering around, like, 65? What happened to back-to-back Cy Young, 10 K's a game, pot smoking Tim? The numbers aren't trending well, either. Every year since his 2009 Cy Young, his K's per game have gone down, and is now on his 3rd straight 10+ loss season. That very well could be because of San Fran's woeful offense, or the fact that he can only fool batters with his herky-jerky (that's not a real word, kids) windup for so long. It's probably a combination of both. Either way, you're not getting drafted any higher then the 7th round next year, Timmy. Sorry.


The "Oh god they're going to make it to the World Series and lose again"award, sponsored by the '91-'94 Buffalo Bills:


You're up, Texas Rangers! A.L. champs the past two years, the Rangers look poised to make another deep postseason run this year, having the 2nd best record in the A.L. The team absolutely rakes, averaging like 12 homeruns a game. (statistical accuracy is overrated) It's hard to pick the team's best hitter, it'd be like choosing which Tyler Perry show is more terrible than the others. You just can't do it. It's overwhelming. The Rangers pitching is sneaky good, especially with the addition of Asian pitcher/sensation Jeremy Lin- I mean Yu Darvish. Josh Hamilton is putting up MVP numbers, with 27 HR's and 75 RBI's at the half. Both on paper and on the field, this team looks like they are the team to beat. Which is why they'll get beat! By the time the Rangers bow out, high-school football season will be in full tilt, and that's good enough for Texas. What a strange place. 

The "We've spent HOW much money and have won HOW many games?" award: 


We've got ourselves a three way tie! The Red Sox/Tigers/Phillies all accept this award on behalf of every fair-weather fan in baseball. Let's throw out some stats in a bit I like to call "A list of things in bullet form that you will probably skim over and not read, similar to this sentence."

Phillies- 2nd highest payroll in MLB/ record- 38-51- 14 games back in the NL East.
Tigers- 5th highest payroll in MLB/ record- 45-43- 3.5 games back in the AL Central.
Red Sox- 3rd highest payroll in MLB/ record- 44-44- 10.5 games back in the AL East.

The Yankees own the best record in baseball and the highest payroll. They're baseball's equivalent of that asshole who got a 98 on the science test that everyone else bombed, killing the curve. Whatever. The Yankees suck.

The fact of the matter is that baseball is slowly learning that money doesn't buy good players. Free agents are paid for what they have done in the past, not what they are going to do in the future. If there was a team that could climb out of this, it would be the Tigers. The AL Central blows, and when your MVP and Cy Young caliber ace is dating Kate Upton, someone upstairs must be pulling for you. The Sox won't make the playoffs under the idiot of a manager they currently have, (even saying his name makes me mad) and Philly's offense is about 4 years past it's prime. As for the Phillies pitching, Cliff Lee apparently decided that winning was not important anymore, Halladay has started to show signs of wear and tear, and Cole Hamels dresses like this.

That's enough humor for one day!

Actual predictions:
N.L MVP: Joey Votto, 1B, Cincinnati Reds
A.L. MVP: Josh Hamilton, OF, Texas Rangers
N.L. Pennant: Washington Nationals
A.L Pennant: Texas Rangers
World Series Champ: Whoever wins 4 games first.

Jam of the Day:

And then this:

3rd time's the charm

I'm trying again! For the reader(s) who found yourself thinking, "I haven't read anything from Cam recently" don't worry. The drought is over. Here goes my next attempt to create my own blog, because I'm trying to get into the blog scene before it gets popular. I'll try to put my own humorous and grammatically incorrect spin on sports, because hey, you can never have too many opinions! Count on the occasional funny video or enjoyable song to be posted, because I'm equally unequipped to talk about humor and good music. So enjoy, but more importantly tell your friends so I get popular and a 6-figure contract from ESPN immediately after college. 

Speaking of sports AND humor, here's this.